Tying strings to the heart

There is a special bond between parents and their children. So often that bond is weaken during the younger years of a child's life and when that child becomes a teenager there is no connection(or apparent love) between the parent and child. We've seen parents desperate to reconnect with their child in the later teen years only to find out that past hurts and rejections as a child have stunted any relationship for the present. It can be scary as a parent. But the Lord continues to bring back Scripture(1Cor. 13!!!!!) and reassures with His Word that He desires parents and children to have a close relationship. {Deuteronomy 6 pictures parents that are daily involved with their children. the parents are with them talking and teaching all the time.}

Tonight I was encouraged and challenged by the words of Debi & Micheal Pearl in their book, To Train Up A Child. I feel like i have to say I don't agree with everything in the book, but it is a great parenting book and a good resource.

Chapter 4 is called Tying Strings. The following is taken from that chapter.

"I can look at each of my children and feel that union. It is as if we joined by many strings of mutual love, respect, honor, and all the good times that we have had together. The more good experiences we have together, the more strings that unite.

Where two or more people are living together, their interestes, opinions and liberties sometimes clash. The strings that unite are often cut by selfishness, indifference, pride, self-will and the like. Where there is not a constant tying of new strings, family members soon find themselves separated by suspicion, distrust and criticism. The gap can grow so wide that two can become virtual enemies....

I would say that most parents have allowed the strings to be cut and have not made a responsible effort to tie new ones. It is most critical that you understand and take care in this area. When strings are cut, there can be no effective discipline or training. Without that mutual respect and honor, further discipline only angers and embitters the child.

I talk with many parents who have lost contact with their child. For every one string that might tie them together, there are two situations to cut it....

The chapter goes on and gives more specific details with different age groups, but ends the chapter with what you can do to tie strings again.

You Can Tie Strings:

~Look at your child with pleasure and smile

~Take them places even if there is no reason to bring them along

~Get down on the floor and play with them. "Tumble and roll, laugh and tickle"

~Take time and be interested in something they have made or done

~Build something together

~Make housework fun and enjoyable. (They say to let the 3 year old bake cookies!)

~For the Fathers: let them feel like they are helping with the protection of the family.

~"Brag on their achievements"

I share all this not to break some copy right laws or to be prideful as if to say we're doing it right, but to encourage us as parents to be involved with our kids.

Tonight we had game night. And it was a lot of fun. but it's NOT always easy for me to play with the boys. I have to daily fight with my selfish flesh to do what i want to do with little regard to what my boys want to do. To my shame, there have been times i have raised my voice only because my convience was disturbed.

And tonight when we were all wearing that silly elephant hat and laughing together I knew there were strings being tied to hearts. :) [Thank you, God, for this moment. ]